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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Live your life from deep beingness

  ​About six years ago I was going through an inner spiritual shift and found Silent Stay. I feel truly blessed to have met Bruce and Ruth. They provided me with everything I didn't even realize that I needed -- warmth, love, an understanding of the spiritual process and opened up their heart and home to me.
  
  I've been a deep Vipassana meditator for many years having gone into the realms of the eternal, and yet I found deep solace in the meditation that Bruce and Ruth teach. Their simple (yet profound) heart centered meditation allows you to quickly tap into the deepest realms of your own soul.
  
  Their message is simple---
  live your life from the deep beingness that already exists within.
  
  Simplicity is the most profound thing, and what Bruce and Ruth teach is stunning not just in its simplicity but also in its effectiveness. I always feel I am 'home' with them. They have become my family. Can you imagine?! The eternal that is 'home' is what I found in my heart and in them. It is stunning and immensely beautiful! Pallavi

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  I thought I made a mistake

  Testimonial from January 2013 (Silent Stay Vacaville)
  
  Dear Ruth and Bruce,
  
  I wanted to write and tell you about my stay and what it meant to me, and what it still means to me.
  
  Upon arriving in Sacramento (my first ever visit) and driving into the hills of Vacaville, I was struck by the natural beauty. I live in Arkansas, which is called the Natural State for a reason, as we have lots of scenic natural beauty. But your amazing hills with the awesome views of hundreds of miles was simply breathtaking.
  
  I loved the arrival process, with Ruth greeting me warmly and showing me around. I did not know what to expect with respect to my fellow Silent Stayers, so I mostly kept quiet and to myself, as did they. Slowly, I noticed the kindness in the smiles. The reverence of the place really seeps into everything you do. The silence is extreme, with only distant sounds of an occasional vehicle or plane to remind you that you are still in the present world. I remember being struck by hearing the beating of birds’ wings for the first time.
  
  I must admit, however, that the first night and entire next day were really, really tough. It is so hard to come from an environment where everything is constantly bombarding you with information to one in which you have that constant mental stimulation removed. My smartphone is never more that a foot away from me in my normal life, and at work I am constantly on the computer. It was jarring to say the least to have it all taken away.
  
  I wanted to escape, my first full day. I thought I had made a mistake. Group meditation was very very difficult as I could not shut off my brain, and I was homesick. I just wanted to leave, but ultimately I asked myself “Why are you here?” and the answer was “To rest. To heal” so I toughed it out. By the end of the next day I was feeling much better and on the following morning I watched the sunrise. For the first time in perhaps my entire life, I felt peaceful.
  
  From that moment on, I felt at peace. Group meditation instead of feeling like an eternity felt like just 10 minutes. On day three I felt a deep inner peace open within me which has stayed with me till this day. It is so easy now to sit and meditate and reach that spot that makes me smile and feel silence almost instantly.
  
  My time at Silent Stay has changed my life, 100% for the better. I more productive at work, more tolerant of my fellow man and have a more peaceful outlook on life. I wish to thank you both for helping me get there. I will return soon to continue the journey, contendly sitting in my own inner river.
  
  With deep thanks, Nathan

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Don't let the world bury your awareness

  I went to my first silent retreat at Silent Stay in Montecito, and it became one of the most heart-awakening experiences I’ve ever had.
  
  Our days in the retreat consist of 3 parts - meditation hour, non-doing period, and sitting period. We do everything in silence, and it’s the most extended time I went without talking.
  
  Here are my 3 key takeaways from the silent retreat and why everyone should do one:  ✨Learn to quiet your mind so you can hear your heart: We live in a world that is addicted to busyness, and our awareness gets buried by daily life. To access our ocean of awareness, we must constantly practice recycling our thoughts. Bath yourself in silence to move away from your head so you can hear your heart speaks.  ✨Find and hold your inner child often: Do you remember what made the little you happy? Find her, hold her, talk to her, care for her, have fun with her, and do anything that makes the both of you happy.  ✨The importance of “non-doing” and “just-being”: 無為. This is the hardest for me, but I find stillness and contentment when I stop thinking about what’s next and genuinely be in the moment with my surroundings.
  
  I’m not a religious person, but I believe in energy work 🌸 I sometimes think there’s a very old wise soul living in my body 😆 And for the first time, I could connect with her. Believe it or not, the moment I accessed the stillness and peace within me, I cried with joy!
  
  I realized that after becoming an adult, I’ve let my mind constantly take over most of my decision-making in life. I became too serious with everything I did.
  
  In the retreat, I was easily lightened up every day by something I did not discover the day before ☺️ I bathe myself in silence and listen to nature speak. The rest is the practice of balancing the mind and the heart in the most beautiful setting of Montecito.
  
  For almost everything in life, when you simply unplug it for a little bit, everything will start working again. So are humans :) And I just went in for a factory reset, you can too.“Don’t let the world bury your awareness. May the silence carry you closer to who you are.” ❤️ @silentstayretreat

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  VocalReferences Photo

  Life Expanding experience

  Dear Ruth, I cant THANK YOU and BRUCE enough! I TRULY had a LIFE EXPANDING experience during my 4 days and 3 nights at the Silent Stay Retreat. I left feeling, as if I made a new best friend….ME❤️ To everyone that wants a deep experience of the silence:  No words (ironically) can properly describe my incredible experience.  Bruce and Ruth are such LOVELY and easy going people.
  The grounds, ALL 35 acres, are just breathtaking, the food delicious and the people who:
  Meet and greet
  Cook
  Clean
  Maintain
  Inform
  are accommodating, friendly and helpful.
  My 4 days/3 nights of silence with Ruth and Bruce left me wanting MORE!
  I look forward to returning-
  THANK YOU, THANK YOU🙏✨📣

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  Unexpected happiness

  During my retreat I found myself in unfamiliar territory. Turning inward was both a bit unsettling and at the same time a blessing. The removal of electronic devices and reading a spiritual themed book was key for me. Walking on the beautiful property, laying on the grass in the sunshine, daily yoga in the sanctuary and quietness..... Taking a silent retreat was something unfamiliar as I'd never done anything like this before, but I would certainly do this again and maybe even longer !! Unexpected happiness.  Dave

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Abundance and Stillness

  Being on retreat with Silent Stay gave me such a sense of peace that I am carrying into my daily life. When I first arrived on Friday, I fretted about the time going too fast, what if 2 days wasn't enough? My mind was immediately judging my experience and thinking about future experiences. Ruth's advice to "turn down the effort" and get in touch with my "pre-installed software" that first night helped me start to unwind. As a mother of two kids (8,10) and looking after my mom with Alzheimer's, the days never feel like there's enough for everyone. In the coming weeks and months, I am going to prioritize making time for my meditation practice/connecting with stillness each morning, and throughout the day.
  
  Thank you Ruth and Bruce so much for the gift of retreat. The delicious food and copious amounts of tea available made it such a warm experience. I appreciated that it was a nurturing space, not like the negative stories I've heard from others about silent retreats that felt harsher by design, i.e., retreat attendees fighting over the only bagel! The abundance and comfort felt supportive. I hope to return on a regular basis.

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Immensely delicious

  So immensely delicous - the experience of silence, connecting with the wisdom from within. It's easy to do here. I am continuing to practice being in two worlds; the one that demands them mind & body, as well as the one living from the true nature within and holding space for both. What a beautiful practice to take home with me. And knowing you are here for us .... Thank you, Ruth & Bruce

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  The healing hills of Montecito

  The magical and healing grounds of the Pacifica Graduate Institute were perfect. It is located in the hills of Montecito on 36+acres overlooking the Ocean and just a stone's throw from the Vedanta Temple of Santa Barbara.The campus hosts all lodging and meals. We met 3 times a day for meditation, guidance and reflection. There are big chunks of "non-doing" periods in between. For my ADHD/OCD brain, it was really nice to have everything organized for me. All i had to do was to show up. There is so much outdoor space and I spent a large chunk of my days outdoors and it totally rebalanced my circadian rhythms.
  
  Food was delicious with lots of options and flexibility for dietary requirements. There are also fridges and kitchenettes on campus if people need to bring their own food, medicine, etc. Staff is very friendly and accommodating.
  
  Most importantly, the campus used to be a Jesuit monastery so it really feels like you are on Holy grounds. That history coupled with Ruth and Bruce's heartfulness centered meditation practices and presence made it a very safe place spiritually, emotionally, and physically. As a woman travelling alone, I felt extremely safe.
  
  I could have benefited from an extra 4 days and in that case there are options to work with Ruth and Bruce to informally extend your retreat. This is a perfect retreat for anyone feeling completely overwhelmed by the idea of planning a retreat (me! you first suggested i take 4 days of silence about 6 months until I finally did it) and those who are extremely hard on themselves (also me!) because there is a lot of guidance and support throughout the whole retreat experience.  I now want to make this a regular part of supporting myself.  Thank you Ruth and Bruce for all your kindness and support

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Pure peace with yourself

  It's been a very long time since I have been in such a peace with myself. My heart is beating differently and I feel the light flowing in... Being silent in such a beautiful place (I call it a corner of heaven) does wonders to your heart.
  Thank you Universe, Ruth and Bruce for such an opportunity.
  Love, Peace & Blessings.

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  Nourished, Healed and Accepted

  I arrived at Silent Stay (now in Santa Barbara, yeah !!!) feeling as if I had been hauled onto an island oasis, finally finding land after weeks of being at sea. It has been a refuge for me with all the abundant physical spaces and beautiful nature. I have felt nourished, healed and accepted.
  
  I visited Silent Stay the first time in Vacaville years ago and came away with the precious gift of honoring and being more aware of the sacred space inside me. This time with Ruth’s gentle guidance, I have the gift of feeling, sensing, knowing that this sacred space inside me is my truth, my identity, my being - it is all that matters, it is all of me.
  
  Some of my emotions have melted in the presence of this loving, accepting, receptive space. I have become more aware of my conditioned patterns and what is not me. I know this is probably just the tip of the iceberg ! I look forward to remembering what else I am. It has been a huge relief and release !!!
  
  Meditation has begun to become a time for me to come home to myself - to keep revisiting, feeling and experiencing this sacred space, my heart, my soul. A better reason than I could have ever have thought of to meditate !! I hope to be with you again soon and will join you on Sundays to go deeper into my spiritual journey…
  
  Everything good for you both, Lisa

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  a re-boot and re-root

  I am so deeply grateful for the silent retreat in Montecito. The opportunity to sit in silence with like-minded seekers and explore the beauty of the campus with a curious mind and an open heart was just what I needed to tune up and tune into my practice. Ruth and Bruce are so knowledgeable and loving and held space for participants with extraordinary grace and magnificent presence.

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Changed my Life for the Best

  I attended the Vacaville retreat and it changed my life. This was during an incredible transitional phase of my life, and I needed to center myself. I'd never done anything like this before, but Ruth and Bruce we so supportive throughout the whole process, and I felt at ease from start to finish.
  
  This also happened to be the week before COVID lockdown started in March 2020. This was my last adventure/experience before we went into lockdown, and helped me enter the global pandemic with internal peace.

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  A sanctuary for the soul

  About six years ago I was going through an inner spiritual shift and found Silent Stay. I feel truly blessed to have met Bruce and Ruth. They provided me with everything I didn't even realize that I needed -- warmth, love, an understanding of the spiritual process and opened up their heart and home to me. I've been a deep Vipassana meditator for many years having gone into the realms of the eternal, and yet I found deep solace in the meditation that Bruce and Ruth teach. A simple heart centered meditation that allows you to quickly tap into the deepest realms of your own soul. Their message is simple--- live your life from the deep beingness that already exists within. Simplicity is the most profound thing, and what Bruce and Ruth teach is stunning not just in its simplicity but also in its effectiveness. I always feel I am 'home' with Bruce and Ruth and they have become my family. Can you imagine?! The eternal that is 'home' is what I found in my heart and in them. It is stunning and immensely beautiful!
  
  They say that adversity shows our true colors. The news of the fire tore through my heart-- this sacred place I consider my spiritual home, gone. Their home, gone. And yet, despite it all, they have arisen, centered in the testament of their teaching. Centered in their authenticity. Centered in the belief that everything is gone, and yet everything remains. There is no greater testament to a person's essence. Dear Bruce and Ruth-- I salute you! May the new Silent Stay give us all our eternal silence and more... A cosmic shift, a new beginning... 
  
  May you remain blessed and safe, always.
  
  Much love!

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  An Ocean of Peace

  Dear Ruth and Bruce,
  Each day in meditation you come into my awareness. About a week ago I saw a white bird soaring over the hilltop of Silent Stay, as if showering love and blessings. It was a beautiful vision. A reminder of the silence underneath everything, the simple peace and grace. Spirit is very much alive and continues on amidst the ashes.
  
  My heart grieves with you during this time of loss.
  
  Just a few weeks after my daughter and I stayed with you earlier this year, a dear friend of ours took her life at 29 years old. I had never experienced grief to that degree before. The backdrop of joy I was riding became a backdrop of sadness. Yet, the awareness of love underneath the pain and sadness was so palpable I could touch it. No longer a sense of joy really but a reassuring eternal heart connection with my friend, with everyone and everything. It is the most beautiful gift to be able to touch the silence and receive the peace. It is always, always there. I am eternally grateful for Silent Stay and my sessions with you Ruth that provided a space for an "awakening" to occur.
  
  I continue to enjoy meditations with Bruce's words now and then. I recorded several sessions on my phone as I was often unable to make the 9AM time. This way I was able to connect at a time that worked for me. I appreciate these guided meditations much more these days!
  
  I look forward to whatever is next.
  I share with you words that arose from my experience at SilentStay.
  
  I returned to silence
  and met you in grace.
  Divine loving Presence!
  An endless beam of light
  flows in and out
  from the very center of my heart
  Arms stretched wide
  breath flows ever so gently
  in and out
  It is an ocean of peace here
  filled with graciousness and love
  A returning home to my birthplace
  of love
  Original Heart, Divine Presence
  lives on and on and on
  for eternity
  and all time
  In the silence we meet again.
  
  I was just about to send this when I saw your email--
  Like a Phoenix Rising from the Ashes.
  My heart is dancing - overflowing with joy. I cannot wait.
  I'm moved by how you are being with the loss and allowing yourselves to be carried - it must not be easy. And
  Yes! A Phoenix is Rising from the Ashes!
  See you at your new location in Santa Barbara!
  
  Much love.

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Vast Loving Awareness

  My time spent at Silent Stay has been transcendent and profound. I felt completely supported and welcomed. While the precious and beautiful physical container is gone, the love, acceptance, and peace persists. Thank you Ruth, Bruce and Brenda. Surrounding you with love and support always.

• Video testimonial

  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Video

  Haven of peace

  Got to meet a lifelong friend. My spiritual mom, Ruth. Forever grateful for the gifts I hold in my heart from my stay at Silent Stay.

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  The Only Retreat You’ll Ever Need

  I had been attending various Silent Retreats for over 10 years before I finally found the magic that is Silent Stay. That very first retreat was such a profoundly transformative and life-changing experience, and with every retreat thereafter my inner peace, my healing, my spiritual practice, my growth, my self-love and compassion has deepened, and my light and my heart continue to expand.   Ruth and Bruce teach us how to take these practices home with us...our world NEEDS Silent Stay.  Please refer to my video testimonial for more... Thank you, eternally, Ruth, Bruce and Silent Stay.

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  ★★★★★ Rated 5 out of 5 VocalReferences Photo

  Anchored

  My last experience at your/our beloved retreat was just in July...I took away a confirmation of being anchored which has carried so much meaning for me in my current season. Since leaving, I think often of my next trip back; treating myself to a cherished place of retreat; the cherished place for the introvert in me...but as I watched the fire on the news, I thought, no not the retreat. Then came your email. My heart is with you and Bruce. I pray the anchor of your spirit is planted deep in a peace no storm of fire or devastation can really move you from your inner strength. As you shared your experience love and peace with us, We experience your loss with you...and In silence we are united anchored in divine peace. May we celebrate together one day what will arise from the ashes. Love and peace always to you

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